The RALPH N CAAB SHOW

EPISODE 12

ralphncaab — Thu, 21 May 2009 23:01:00 GMT

Ralph got a slight desire to quit drugs but unfortunately it failed. Caab hurts his feelings. Caab also bought UFC UNDISPUTED so he wouldn't be such a big floppy Canadian pussy anymore and so far he has positive results. After some more stupidity Ralph and Caab actually have a super serial convo about the open source development model and how it could be applicable to MMORPG development. TUNE IN FOR AWESOME.

Music Credit:
Intro: MGMT - Time To Pretend
Synth Electro Pop Outro: The Polish Ambassador - The Electro Kids Just Want to Danc

EPISODE 11

ralphncaab — Wed, 13 May 2009 19:48:00 GMT

In this show:

It's now summer on the Ralph N Caab show and Ralph is dragged out of his masterbation/gaming lair to pick up his stupid friend when he gets a DUI - Caab's (more intelligent) friend leaps into the woods and reports his car stolen the next day. Caab, still trying to get hooked on an MMO, looks into Global Agenda, a Tribes/Team Fortress inspired MMOFPS. Later, after our breakdown of GA, Caab moans about the new censorship in effect on the GAX front page and how the world can't see his poetry anymore. He also whines about: how WoW still hasn't managed to suck him back in, money he wastes on pre-ordering PS3 wrestling games, and the sucky-ness of the new Wolverine movie. The diamond in the rough this week is the new Star Trek film, which was actually surprisingly good (according to Caab's standards).

Music Credit:
Summer Intro: Kool & The Gang - Summer Madness
Summer Outro: Dr Dre - Lyrical Gangban

EPISODE 10

ralphncaab — Fri, 1 May 2009 04:56:00 GMT

This week Ralph and Caab actually talked about VIDEO GAMES (i kno rite?) for almost the entirety of the show. Fuck. Well Caab's reject one-legged ass has been playing super-gey Free Realmssince Ralph and Caab's Warhammer careers have ended... forever?? (WHO KNOWS) Ralph tries to coax Caab off the crack by trying to get him to play Left 4 Dead, which then Ralph magically turns into trying to get Caab to buy an Xbox. After this fails, Caab's dirty little secret finally comes out. OF ALL PEOPLE - Caab was in Fallen Earth beta. I mean, these people were on the forums for years, watching for any glimmer of news. They signed up first for alpha and then, OUT OF THE ENTIRE GAMING WORLD, 2-day trial CAAB GETS IN???? Hear the champ's impressions.

EPISODE 9 (8 was suck)

ralphncaab — Fri, 1 May 2009 01:36:00 GMT

Ralph and Caab bullshit with each other for a while until finally they get their nerd on with discussions about their Warhammer experience and the recently released patch (1.2.1). That lasts for a little longer before Caab starts cheezin over the next stage of the Battlestar Galactica franchise, cries about his school career and about how there are just way too many women around (I know, wtf??), and how Aventurine won't let anyone play Darkfall. Also, Ralph discovers he is racist... or that Caab thinks he's racist when he's really not...and how Caab thinks everyone is racist because he lives in Canada.... WHAT EVER.

MUSIC (een a-spaneesh: MUSICA):
Caab's Musical Choice of the Day: Puscifer - The Mission
Wickee Wickee OUT: Deltron 3030 - Mastermind

EPISODE 7

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 03:43:00 GMT

HOLY FUCK BEANS RALPH AND CAAB ACTUALLY MADE ANOTHER EPSIODE. I know you guys are all like, "fuck you lazy assholes all you need is skype and some audacity"... but we legitimately ran into issues. We dabble in our reasons but it quickly turns into an attempt to increase our "bro" status in the world by talking about sports. That somehow turns into a conversation about skanks that Caab dubs as "SWAMP DONKEYS" and Ralph for some reason is retarded so he brought up sticking it in the pooper. The middle of the show is full of some filler content and then Ralph admits that he is a lame nerd who goes to lan parties and plays Warhammer Online like he gets paid to play or some shit. Then Caab's bro steps into Caab's recording studio and interrupt the show with a delightful segment of Canadian banter. The show ends with Ralph running off to work and Caab massaging his broken leg.

EPISODE 6

Wed, 4 Mar 2009 16:07:00 GMT

Always striving to keep it real, Ralph and Caab discuss real life incidents at their respective places of intoxication. Ralph's buddy almost gets the crew smacked down at a bar for racism and Caab sees the destruction of the legendary Canadian disco ball at his dance club. The two ramble on about stupid shit until Caab's wingman calls him to tell him he's outside READY TO GET PUSSY RIGHT NAO and Caab is forced to leave the show early, cutting our gaming segment a bit short.

Oh poo "GO LISTEN TO ANY OF THE OTHER 13 GAMING PODCASTS ON GAX IF YOU REALLY NEED TO KNOW ABOUT GAMES"
- SquirrelsOfWar.

Ok he didn't really say but I feel in my heart that's what he would say.

EPISODE 5

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 13:42:00 GMT

Caab got jumped by some Canadian hoodlums over the weekend and Ralph and Caab break down the event in MMORPG terms - This transitions into more Darkfall talk - specifically about the final blow system and the chaos that will certainly ensue on opening day. Ralph and Caab reminisce about good times in teh FFXI and we are saddened that alot of the features haven't made it into other games. Ralph then talks about his life-goals of becoming a game GM and wreaking havoc - and Caab gets a virus on his computer mid show? WTF? TISK. TISK.

At some point the talk turns to the greatest idea ever for a race in a new MMORPG. Inspired in part, by ANIMORPHS

EPISODE 4

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 07:42:00 GMT

After struggling all week to record Episode 4 - Ralph and Caab barely squeeze an episode out before succumbing to a complete state of hysteria at the end of the show. (You may want to turn down your volume a tad near the end of the show).

Game topics include:
Warhammer Online's Squig Herder (Caab's preferred class) and The Sorcerer (Ralph's class WHICH IS SHIT COMPARED TO BRIGHT WIZARD).
Megaten, a weird F2P that Caab sometimes plays when he's lonely.
Both in a severe state of depression, Ralph and Caab want to get hooked on an MMO to erase the pain of real life - and they both look at Darkfall (Caab faps to screenshots nightly - Ralph isn't so confident).

In RL news - Caab fails at going out and picking up girls - and he is hooked on Battlestar Galactica. I don't remember what Ralph talks about but we can be sure it was stupid.

EPISODE 3

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 11:45:00 GMT

After an abortion of a recording on Monday, Ralph and Caab return to the talk show scene with yet another abortion of a show - effectively creating a DOUBLE ABORTION. This show has little to do with video games but if you absolutely MUST know what is video game related (so it's still applicable to the GAX snobs) - we talk about Warhammer. Ralph has successfully swindled Caab into reactivating his subscription and the two are at it again - raping face in the scenarios.

Among other things, Ralph and Caab also adopt new persona as Glenn and Butch in order to fit in better with their IRL surroundings. This ultimately fails. Ralph and Caab then proceed to dick around on Skype for the rest of the show - giving us more lulz to listen to whilst one should be raiding/working/sleeping/dating/driving kids to football practice.There is no description for this file!

EPISODE 2

Mon, 2 Feb 2009 11:43:00 GMT

After a nail-biting win by the Pittsburgh Steelers in the SuperBowl, Ralph went to celebrate in Oakland where riots broke out. Caab does not approve. Caab then talks about his WoW relapse which then leads to a lengthy drawn out MMO-Nerdfest with discussion ranging from fishing mechanics in FFXI to GM's in different games.There is no description for this file!

EPISODE 1

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 13:49:00 GMT

Masturbation - WARHAMMER ONLINE - Pineapple Express - XBOX 360 VS PS3

OLD SEASON 1 - EP8

Fri, 8 Aug 2008 02:21:00 GMT

Again Ralph, Caab, and Knuck have switched MMO's. The crew discuss a few of the mechanics they liked best and some of the all important design decisions of their favorite titles. We are back to our usual show length! This week's topics:

Achievement Systems
COH/V Character Creation
CoX Missions
Trying to game with a military career
Caab quits melting plastic (dun dun DUN!)

Music:

Out: Apocalyptica - I don't Care

We are turning the Freedom server into CITY OF CRK!

OLD SEASON 1 - EP7

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 21:36:00 GMT

After weeks of more vacation, the Ralph and Caab show returns with a new host, and has been re-branded "The CAAB RALPH KNUCK Show". Our host is a vet with a passion for gaming unparalleled to Ralph and Caab's already enthusiastic desires. A long show this week with some audio difficulties, but still good fun.

NEW HOST - TEH KNUCK (WELCOME!)
XU ONLINE
AOC (SUCKED!)
CONDEMNED (WAS DIFFERENT...)
FF SERIES (IS GOING WHAAA???)
HELLBOY 2 (CAAB GIVES THUMBS DOWN, KNUCK GIVES THUMBS UP)
KNUCK SEES ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED MESSAGES IRL
THE DARK KNIGHT - DISCUSSED.
KNUCK PREORDERS MORE THEN GAMESPOT EDITORS
TOM CLANCY'S UBISOFT DEAL
THE GHOSTBUSTERS GAME - DISCUSSED.
FAKE INTERVIEWS DON'T GET MORE LISTENERS
50 CENT GAME IS REAL (Sorry, humanity.)
KNUCK'S MILITARY CAREER
UBUNTU MAKES RALPH'S PORN FAST
KNUCK TALKS ABOUT MOVING TO KANSAS
MILITARY INTERNET WHILE STATIONED IN THE MIDDLE EAST
HALO NIGHT IN AFGANISTAN
FALLEN EARTH ALPHA
KNUCK'S BURNING CRUSADE BETA TEST

Music:

In: Crystal Castles - Air War
Out: MC Hawking - Entropy

Good Bye RC, Hello CRK!

OLD SEASON 1 - EP6

Thu, 3 Jul 2008 23:23:00 GMT

It's been a slow week for Ralph N Caab. Here are this week's topics.

FishingChamp - THE ONLY 3D FISHING MMO.
Caab's rodeo experience
Caab is playing Vanguard. (I know, right?)
More musing about the MMO draught
PS3 VS 360 in GTA and Burnout Paradise
GAX 2.0 is teh fail

Music:

In: Ghostland Observatory - Shoot 'Em Down
Out: Canibus - Shove This Jay O Bee

OLD SEASON 1 - EP5

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 19:24:00 GMT

We are on a 2 episode streak! We lament some more over the loss of our MMO love, and learn more about everyone's favorite robot, CAAB. Here are this week's topics.

UGCC IS DEAD?
GAX IS DEAD?
Caab's Mullet is Soliciting Hugs
Jungleralph Still Loves the poop out of Halo Multi-player
Caab's Horse is still Alive (Still Alive)
XBoX Live should be free like PC - Players police their personal servers
Caab weaves a thrilling tale about his rodeo experience

Music:

In: K'naan - In The Beginning
Out: Mos Def - Mathematics

We love Knowledge Junkie.

OLD SEASON 1 - EP4

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 22:40:00 GMT

CAAB and Ralph are back from "vacation". Really we decided to be serious with our podcasting career. Serially.

It's back to MMORPG suckage for us as we ponder what it will take to fix our broken gaming addictons.

Caab got a horse named George. (WTF?)
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 2017 IS THE SWEETEST XBOX 360 GAME EVER!
Age of Conan Is Sucking
Project FFXI has not taken off.
Rabbit Doubt State of the Union?
Caab's Hardware Review: Headphones

Music:

In: Scars On Broadway - They Say
Out: The Potbelleez - Don't Hold Back

0 Editing this week.

OLD SEASON 1 - EP3

Thu, 29 May 2008 17:54:00 GMT

Age of Conan has been released and The Ralph and Caab duo have been playing nonstop since release. Here are this week's topics:

Ralph sucks at podcasting
AOC Engine Performance/UI
Barbarian and Tempest Of Set
PvP on Cimmeria
Mounts are slow
Fatalities
What AOC means to WoW
Caab needs to return his naughty DVD's

Music:

In: Gangstarr - Mass Appeal
Out: Flobots - Handlebars

We decided to forgo musical torture this week.

OLD SEASON 1 - EP2

Tue, 13 May 2008 20:03:00 GMT

Our Hero, Caab, has returned from his tour in Australia, and is ready to rock and roll. NOTE: We do not yet have an RSS feed or ITUNES because we are not a real podcast yet. Only with comments on this blog post will we consider setting up the podcast proper. Until then, you will have to manually download the MP3 if you want to listen away from your browser. ALSO: The episode is available in my ning player on my profile page if you want to have a pop-out player that allows you to surf while listening. Here are this week's topics:

CAAB RETURNS! With a new hairstyle...
GTA4 is out... and it's not bad (but Caab hates it)
GTA4 Multiplayer Run Down
Age of Conan might suck, but we are still going to play
RABBIT DOUBT IS THE BEST REALITY TELEVISION SHOW GAME EVER.

Music:

In: Fatman Scoop - Be Faithful
Out: Biz Markie - Just A Friend FT. The "talents" of MC Jungleralph

I know it hurts, but it's not the whole song.